John and Kate plus eight over...way too late

Last night my wife and I watched the series finale of John and Kate. It was bittersweet. I was glad to see the show end after their marriage was destroyed, but also very sad to see the relationship surely end.

I think the most disheartening thing was both John and Kate constantly saying: "I'm going to do everything for my kids." This has danger written all over it. In Scripture God gives us many references on how to love our wives and husbands, but little on how to raise children. And many studies have found that when parents love each other and are willing to say, "I am going to do anything to love my spouse, love automatically outflows to the children.

And to think, my wife and I were almost looking for advice from the show. What a mistake. Here is a simple way to have a strong family: love your spouse unconditionally (Christ loves the church and the church submits to Christ). Start there and let the Lord lead you.

God's blessings to John and Kate, but I do hope there is much repentance on both ends. I repent for my own failings on this regard.

Idiotic men on TV, now what is the modern man to do?

I think it is well established that TV does not uplift a man to be "all that he can be." The total number of "good" examples on TV is so sparse that there is only way thing to do: not watch it. It is truly that simple. We typically try to "reform" our surroundings by forcing Hollywood, TV, and other secular worlds to change their ways. The usual response is of outright denial. And in the meantime we have forgotten our families and been Godly men.

What we can control is our congregation. No more singing Beautiful Savior every other Sunday, no more watering down God's Word, not so much "crying" in a sermon, and STRONG Law/Gospel sermons. IF you looked around our congregations, it tickles the fancy of many women. Activities that encourage sitting, crafts, and casseroles. Where is the kick-butt activity of the disciples? Where is the bold proclamation? Where is the hymns that are so powerful that basically only men can really pull it off? Talk to your pastor about making the worship service more "powerful", get men involved in powerful things, and strongly proclaim the truths of God's Word!

Godly men in "The Cosby Show?"

One show that probably influenced me the most as a chid was the big, connected, upper-middle class, jazz loving, show "The Cosby Show." It was great. The whole family stuck together. Both mom and dad had it all. She was a lawyer, he was a OBGYN, the kids had tons of fun, he loved jazz, and to top it all of they were an African american family that didn't make it a race issue. Boy, was it funny.

Bill Cosby, "Cliff Huxtable", was the center of the show. In many ways, he was the head of the household. He provided wisdom to his children, obviously provided as a doctor, and loved his wife in ways that put all modern TV shows to shame. Clair Huxtable was the loving wife and mother of FOUR kids (not seen often on TV). It seemed as if she really didn't do much lawyer stuff as she was mostly nurturing and criticizing the family all at the same time (especially Cliff). It was funny, whitty, and a breathe of fresh air for the modern day TV citcom.

In essence there is little wrong with this show. However, I would argue that the problem isn't what the show did, but what it lead to in the future. The Cosby Show was a beginning of the father being the comedian of the family. When there needed to be comic relief he was able to combine humor in the middle of wisdom. This portrayal of the man/father/husband lead to many other shows that wanted the same humor, but forgot wisdom (Simpsons, Drew Carey Show, Seinfeld, and Roseanne). The reminders are there that when we give an inch, others will take a mile.

Go ahead and watch this wonderful show. But be reminded, to be a good husband/father/man, does not require you to be "funny" all the time, but takes commitment, seriousness, and most of all love.

Godly men in "Everyone loves Raymond?"

"Oh C'mon, Debra, I didn't know!" Raymond Barone commonly would try to explain to his wife after doing something he should not have. It was a regular occurrence. The typical day was a battle of Raymond not wanting to offend his mother who lived next door and trying to keep his wife loving him. Unfortunately, he would often side with his mother.

Everyone loves Raymond was a unique show. It portrayed a younger family with a husband as the bread winner who worked as a sports writer in New York City. Debra was a stay at home mom and they lived next door to his parents. How much more "traditional" or family oriented can you get? If one were to stop there, one would think it uplifted family, especially men.

However, the moment you see the family dynamics, things change quickly. First of all, it is hard to determine how Raymond was a BIG TIME writer for a sports page in New York City. If he had that job first of all, he would be a stud and would know quite a bit. Yet, the moment he entered the home he couldn't figure out what shoe to put on what foot. Debra was always mad, his parents treated him like a 5 year old, and he was always looking for ways to get out of family time. On top of that, his dad was a bumbling idiot, his brother had no confidence, and the women appeared to hold it together (if that is what you would call it).

So what's the problem? Well, two fold. Raymond has been voted as the #1 dad in TV history. If this is true, a successful dad is one that is naive, a denier of family time, and has little respect from his wife and children. He was even more critical of faith. There was no prayer time, discussion of much faith, and attendance of worship was only for the sake of pleasing Debra.

My wife and I loved this show. However, it has affected our marriage and my view of fatherhood (good or bad). We are still looking for a strong man in the TV world, that is a model for all young boys into the future.

Godly men in "Home Improvement?"

"Ugh, Ugh, Ugh" I'm not sure of how to make a grunting noise of a man who has just started his power car. The grunting noise symbolized what it meant to be a man in the show, "Home Improvement" with Tim Allen.

Home Improvement portrayed a "handy man", Tim Taylor, who is married to a pretty wife, Jill, and has three strapping young sons. He had his own TV show called, "Tool Time." His side kick, Al was very handy and kind of stiff in the ways of the world.

What made Home Improvement so attractive was its ability to humorize the normal family life and the ability of a man to joke his way out of anything. Tim would receive wisdom from his neighbor (whom we never saw his face) and often mis-apply it to his family life. At the same time, he was accident prone and always trying to make up for his mistakes. His biggest issue was trying to figure out his wife, he showed his love for her, he attempted to protect her, however, he was consistently seen as the "village idiot."

The overall view of men in this show was FAR better than the destruction from "Married with Children." Tim loves his kids, he loves his wife, he provides for his family, and appreciates people. However, it was good at glossing over the main issue. The woman was the only one that held things togehter and the man was basically worthless unless he is telling a joke. Ever seen this play out in your home life?

Godly men in "Married with children?"

"Love and marriage, Love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage...." These were the words that introduced the film that made Fox famous in the late 80's. You saw Al Bundy with his hands in his pants and ignoring his family for the joy of TV. Everytime this introduction appeared on TV, my parents made me change the channel. But like any good young boy, I still found a way to watch it!

We will evaluate the great, Al Bundy. The man who had a bright future to play college football, but impregnated his girlfriend (Peg Bundy), married her, and ended up working at Gary's shoe store selling women's shoes.

Now would Al Bundy be consider a "manly man?" Well, you might think he is a good 21st century male. He watches football, loves beer, and complains about women. It is the standard joke about men in our culture. What' wrong? a young boy might ask these days.

First off, he is constantly ripping into his wife (even though she has her own problems). He definately doesn't treat her like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5) and also downgrades his own daughter as stupid and a ditz.

Secondly, he has no responsibility as a leader of the home. He works a dead beat job, has no money, and doesn't seem to want anything more but to complain, scratch, and drink.

What implications does this have? In all honesty, it was funny. It brought to light some struggles we all have in marriage and raising children. Brought some reality to people who had dreams, but were shattered. Yet, it basically gave no hope for men stepping up in trial. It presented troubled teens as a glorious way of life. And the idea of discipline was nowhere to be seen.

I would argue that Married with children started a horrible trend of the downgrading of men. Men as the "village idiot" and taking no responsibility for his family. Especially, uplifting his wife and children. The Al Bundy affect will be with us for some time, but by God's grace, things will improve.

Lord have mercy

Fatherhood in the 21st century

What has happened? When watching TV, there is not ONE father/man who seems to have it together. You attempt to watch any TV series today (According to Jim, Everyone loves Raymond, King of Queens, etc), current or reruns and you see absolutely no Father/Man figure to try to emulate.

It is a far cry from 1949 when "Father knows best" was on TV, followed by Andy Griffith, Leave it to Beaver, and the Brady Bunch. Fathers were someone to look up too. The father would possess wisdom, a respect from his wife, and prominent name in the community. I realize that these shows did not indicate complete realtiy of those days. Yet, does portraying ALL men as village idiots portray accurately a father in today's world?

What does Scripture tell us of Fatherhood? It tells us much about fatherhood, but it probably boils down to three main ideas:

1) A father must first be a good husband (Ephesians 5:25-33). First and foremost, he must love his wife as Christ loves the church. If love is seen for his wife, the children will know he is a man of integrity.

2) A father must be the head of his home (Ephesians 5:23). He must take an active leadership in the goings on in the house. It is not for his benefit, but for the WHOLE family.

3) A father must be a provider for his home (1 Timothy 5:8). A father who does not provide according to Scripture is no better than an infidel. He is not to sit at home and do nothing, but provide (physically, financially, and spiritually).

How many guys on TV do this? Not many. This week I will cover a variety of shows and show how the portrayal of men is very degrading and also what we can do about it.

Lord have mercy